thank you sir, may I have another

Well, barring the existence of some kind of Hell, I will never have to take the math GRE test again. While I didn't break 600 like I was hoping to, I did significantly better than when I took it six years ago, and better than I did on the various practice exams.

Given that applying for programs is going to be like taking on another part-time job here for the next few months, I'll likely not have time to do NaBloPoMo. I don't think I'll join, but I might try to post every day and participate on an unofficial basis.

Houston, we have -- Oh, Houston, I'm so fucking screwed.

Have I ever gone on about how I have strong negative feelings about math and math-related pursuits? I've lost pens' worth of ink and years of my life trying to explain the depth, breadth, and precise character of my hatred for the subject, so I will work hard not to veer into that territory yet again. I will say that I started keeping a journal so as to stay awake during math class in 10th grade, and so in a way, it is because of the existence of math that I like writing so much.

I got through precisely enough math to wrest my B.A. from the protective arms of Ohio State, which was a single class on the lower end of the difficulty spectrum ("didn't you learn that in high school?" math). Because I couldn't get through calculus (or, God help me, maybe it was precalculus) (yeah, shit, I think it was precalculus), I couldn't take Chemistry, and without Chemistry I couldn't take Biology. Biology was something I really would have been interested in, but I didn't have to pass any math, or even think about any math, to take Linguistics, English, or Philosophy classes. So, no Biology. As you can imagine, this is the kind of issue that helps you decide pretty easily what careers you *won't* be pursuing.

I tried to pass math, twice, math that other people found moderately easy, and it just wasn't going to happen. I would start the classes with the understanding that yes, this is going to be difficult and probably painful for me, but I would Work Hard and Build Character and hopefully get through with a grade that wouldn't damage my GPA too badly. Then I would flame out. Crash 'n burn. Oh, it was so ugly. I would get all set up to buckle down and do my math homework and inevitably end up crying. Every time.

So, yeah, I have to take the GREs again. Because it's been six years and my scores are no longer good. And hey, oh yeah, there's MATH on the GRE! And people in Psychology actually care what score you get!

Which is why I found myself staring at a GRE prep book and crying at a Panera Bread last weekend. Not noisily or obviously, but a little bit. Not an auspicious beginning to Operation Getting At Least a 600 On The Qualitative GRE. The GRE book breezily points out that like, lots of people go and get 800s on the Qualitative portion so it isn't all that special and if you're going into a qualitative field, you'll want to go ahead and ace that part, okay? And I'm thinking, dude, I'll be fortunate not to cry and then get up and walk out ten questions in.

I don't really think the squirrels can be held accountable for their actions right now.

I guess this blog has been all about my recent physical misfortunes of late, and I didn't even tell you about how I cut myself shaving. On the bottle of shaving cream. (Fun story!) Then today, I had one of those tape guns, and of course it wasn't working the way that tape guns theoretically in some magic land work, where you just apply the tape and it feeds through the gun and then you tilt it up to cut it. No, it was basically a 3-lb tape dispenser, with an unfortunately-placed row of pointy little razors that I managed to sink into the pad of my thumb. Awesome. It isn't a day at work unless I'm bleeding from the hands.

Here's a picture of a sock that I've since frogged; the point of the picture is the light. That's sunlight. Weird.

nearer my parking space to thee

Four Awesome Things I Had Totally Forgotten About: A List
by Orooni

1)

Oregon Trail!!! OMG, we have to bury Zacharias!

2) Classic Sesame Street on YouTube: The Pinball Sketch*#. (Also known as the one that goes one-two-three-FOURFIVE-six-seven-eight-NINETEN-e-leven-twelve)

3) Clouds! Today there were clouds in the sky. Remember those, they're big water masses in the sky that sometimes get between you and the sun. I feel like I'm 26 again.

4) There have been whispers of rain, too, but I'm pretty sure that that's one of those magic things from the Harry Potter books. Rain, the muffliato charm: note to self, THESE ARE FICTION.


*Also? Ladybug Picnic and Alligator King and Number 9 Cutie. Also, oh my God I'm 4 again. I could do this for hours, because I just keep remembering stuff. There's on that's hovering on the edge of my memory, and it's about ants and it's a cartoon and it reminds me of my father and makes me kind of want to cry in a happy way.

#And I hope this is the right link. My browser's under strict orders not to download flash - which is, by the way, a whole lot like my dog being under strict orders not to join the Taliban. Even if she understood what the meant and really wanted to, there's a lot standing in the way, not the least of which is that she'll need to save up her allowance for years to afford the plane ticket.