Swing State Blues

And oh by the way... this post reminded me that there's this whole election thing going on. I had resolved myself to vote for Kerry, albeit grudgingly, but then a couple days ago, Other sat me down to watch Howard Dean on Charlie Rose, and old Howard mentioned in passing that 6 of the other original Democratic candidates, including Kerry, had pooled money to air ads in Iowa attacking him. (I think I can hazard a good guess at what they said, too.)

So for the last two days I've been swearing that I will not vote for Kerry. I honestly can't stand the guy. I didn't like him from the beginning, I don't like what he did to Dean, who should rightfully be the nominee ('cause, you know, it's good to have a candidate who isn't afraid to call the current monstrosity in the White House an 'incompetent liar' and can answer a question coherently in under 20 minutes), and there's this small part of me that thinks that four more years of Bush would be sufficient to scare the shit out of the country so badly that they'd avoid voting Republican for the next 50 years. (If we're still voting by then... heh.) Plus, when the civil war breaks out in Iraq, if Kerry's the one in office, then the Republicans will blame him for it. Same deal for the draft, if it comes to that.

So maybe Bush should have to clean up his own damn messes. Although at this point, when just about every single thing this president has done has been a disaster, (Osama, anyone? Taliban? WMD? Liberators? Deficit? Environment? What environment?) at what point will people finally decide that maybe he's not the guy for the job? Shouldn't that have happened by now?

Who should I vote for? Should I vote at all (for President)? Does a country that would elect Bush again deserve what Bush would give them? Do I?

I guess when it comes down to it, I'm just really scared.

And you must be the pussycats

When I took this teaching job, it was with mixed feelings; yes, if I go on to my PhD, it will be great to have already taught a lit survey. The office with the window does kick serious ass. But at the same time, there are serious downsides. The class meets at 8am T&R, which in itself is not bad -- I've taught for years at 8am. What is bad is that this schedule precludes me getting a full-time office job, because they kind of expect you to show up at 8 or 9 every morning.

So I took this pharmacy tech job that is also not enough hours to really keep my head above water, with the expectation that next semester I will teach 3 classes instead of one, each at a slightly higher rate. And I'm also dedicating every spare second to producing mini-quilts which I will hang in a local coffee shop and offer for sale.

But I must say that the teaching job is looking better and better. My office mate, for instance, is the greatest office mate you can imagine. There's only one desk in here, which would suck... if we were ever here at the same time. But I have actually never even met the woman. Why is this better than having an office completely to myself? Well, this woman apparently has magical powers of procurement. The major downside to the office was the fact that there was no computer, on account of the last guy who was in here being a serious luddite. But last week, a brand spanking new eMac showed up in our office with Magical Office Mate Lady's name on it. Thank you, MOML. I don't know how to use a Mac, but I WILL LEARN.

As if this weren't enough, today when I got here there was a brand spanking new printer box outside the door, and - voila - a brand spanking new printer on the desk. I have a printer in my office.

This state of affairs continues the long trend in my life of having kickass equipment/stuff and being poor as an inner-city church mouse. Half of the money I make teaching goes toward this wonderful health insurance, I get about $80/week at the pharmacy, and yet I'm typing on a brand new eMac with my own personal color printer.

now accepting donations.

How to make up with me:
1) apologize.
2) grovel like a sum'bitch.

How not to make up with me:
1) order yourself a pizza for dinner and not offer to share.


My new job is okay. I hope that in time I will be deemed competent enough to feel like I belong at the counter, instead of just feeling like I'm in the way. Having been the old person - rather than the new person - I know what it's like to have someone come in and take part of the workload, but I'd like to think that I was as cool as possible about it. Dunno.

It's also not enough time and therefore not enough income. The hours are good in that the social life that I've been wishing for for the last 2 (6?) years has suddenly flourished, due to the three new groups/activities that have come onto my plate, and the job will not in any way interefere with it.

And yet, I kind of want to quit everything and go be an office monkey, abandoning the hopes that I could sell a creative product - mini-quilt, story, or article - in order to bring in some extra money to hand over to my various debtors.

YOU DO NOT WANT ME, FOR I AM A BASKET CASE.

Well, I got a job offer today. It is a relief that someone finds me employable, but, alas, the job itself still leaves me underemployed -- or at least underfunded. I have a couple days to think it over (read: reconcile myself to a new minimalist style of living that will exclude food that tastes good and new objects, or: call various places I've applied to and beg them to take me.)

Tonight I went to the second meeting of this quilt guild that Other came across. I am learning some about quilting (for example, I know what "stitch in the ditch" means) and a lot about quilters (for example, quilters are significantly less insane than "artists"). It's a study on human behavior. A lot of the activities include passing objects around to look at, and this one guy -- who sounds like he's been in the guild since it started -- whenever something is handed to him, huffs and thrusts it to the next person disinterestedly. Why does he do this? He likes quilting, he comes to all the meetings, he sits there quietly. Is the stuff not good enough for him? Does he think he could do better? Why does he act like a volutary meeting is a waste of his time?

Also, there's a ton of old ladies.

Terrifying Tropical Trees

The last 7 times I've eaten a Snickers Pumpkin, it has given me some unpleasant gastrointestinal experiences. But maybe it won't this time.

When Other went out to confront this noisy cricket that was interrupting his reading, he came across a UPS-ed package from the University for me. After assuring him that the cricket "most likely wasn't sent here to destroy [Other]," I discovered that they had sent me my diploma. This surprised me, because I thought that the Jane-Dog-Eating-a-Library-Book incident of 2003, which as far as I knew hadn't been resolved, would result in the holding of my diploma for ransom until the book was replaced. Apparently, though Library Guy did me a solid. So it looks like I got to say for real "My dog ate my library book" (even though she didn't actually ingest it - it was more of a good thrashing) and escape the consequences. Of course, I may find out in a year that they're instead holding my transcripts hostage... But for now, I rejoice.

Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man oh man.

Remember that one episode of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood where the pirate guy sings the song about how all he has is a knife and fork, and all he ever wanted was a spoon? Well, it does exist. It's called "Spoon Mountain Opera," which is totally what I would name a child if I had just borne one this second. When is this stuff coming out on DVD?

Yes, but try telling that to the electric company.

Heh.

Well, I have managed to get health insurace, at the cost of over half of my paycheck from the school. Since I'm only teaching one class, this is not as bad as it sounds; since I haven't found another job yet, this is very very bad.

I have applied for at least 14 jobs, and have been contacted by nobody. I have inadvertently memorized all of my employment history, references' information, and drivers license number. While I'm enjoying the free time (the time not spent searching out and uselessly applying for jobs), the anxiety of unemployment is taking its toll. A couple nights ago, for example, I had a dream that blocks of the world were falling to the floor and I could see the nothingness behind them. Also, I seem to be grinding my teeth in my sleep, which seems like a suitable reaction to the world falling apart, but it leaves my teeth twanging and my jaw aching. I'm pretty calm about all this during daylight hours, so it's gotta go somewhere else.

We ran out of shower soap and bought some "Relaxing" stuff, but unless popping the little tiny "hydrating beads" is relaxing and not insanely neurotic, it's not working.

I meant to call that last post, "To the Shiftless Layabouts Go the Spoils"

Oh man, I just spent a whole lot of time reading the plug. It's awesome.