I only eat things with "stix" in the name

Well, today was bad. It's getting worse, so I expect to slip in the shower and go into a coma for several days, so if you don't hear from me in a while, that's probably why. Here is a timetable of my day:

10:24: getting out of bed. (this part is good.)

10:50: fighting with spouse

11:15: fighting with spouse, crying

12:00: sitting in veryboring (yes, one word) grad association meeting

12:47: planning to confront kind-of friend about stupid remark which exhibited comp/rhet people's persecution complex

1:04: running (late) into class which I loathe but wish I didn't but definitely loathe

1:05: arguing with spouse

1:06-2:00: loathing class

2:07: dreading returning to class after break

2:08-3:40: loathing class

3:43: being very pissed off that class has actually gone over time

4:20: grousing w/spouse and office mate about how and why graduate school sucks

5:00: being impatient to eat

6:25: eating yummy bread, then yummy salad

7:00-8:30: Argue with spouse in car

8:30: reading Salon.com, I come across article about environmental disaster in my father's hometown

8:45: I call father, say, do you want to meet for dinner tomorrow?

8:45: Father says yes

8:47: I say, hey, have you heard about this environmental disaster in your hometown?

8:47: Father says, yeah! Your second cousin owns that coal company!

8:48: I contemplate whether being related to evil people makes me inherently evil, even just a little bit.

8:49: I wonder why my dad laughs about things like "according to the EPA, this was the worst environmental disaster in the Eastern United States," and terminal cancer, just like Dr. Hibbard does on the Simpsons.

8:50: I realize I haven't been responding to my Dad. I respond.

8:51: I scan article for second cousin's name (not there) and continue contemplating questions of evil running in families.

9:25: Act snippily toward spouse.

9:30: Play with dog (disappearing rag toy game)

9:50: Waste time on internet

10:00: Waste 1/2 hour typing stupid pointless blog entry about my stupid pointless painful stupid day.

10:33: Contemplate whether predicting near-death incident in shower foretells my doom.

10:34: Decide to leave entry as it is.

lord help me

What am I doing? I am not thinking about the rice that I'm going to eat in a couple minutes here, after the excess water will most assuredly have steamed off. Oh, nor am I thinking about the apple slices that also await.

I was several years ago introduced to this concept of people who know things telling you to do things more regularly than you really need to, in hopes that you'll do it less than you believe you need to (which everyone does, after the first couple days) but still enough, really. And so now I apply it everywhere and to everything, with, I realize, potentially disastrous consequences. Here is a list:

Toothbrushing. Recommended: after every meal, or at least 2 times/day. I interpret to mean: once/day.

Changing the filter in the heater. Recommended: once/month. I interpret to mean: once/every three years. (This is one of the ones that could get me into trouble. Luckily I do not live alone.)

Doctor's exams. Recommended: once/year. I interpret to mean: never. (Also troublesome.)

Credit card payments. Recommended: once/month. I interpret to mean: once/month. (These people don't fuck around.)

Oil Changes. Recommended: every 3,000 miles. I interpret to mean: every 6,000 miles. (Added bonus here of owning a Toyota, rumored to only *really* need them every 10,000 miles, so when I go at 6,000 I can feel virtuous.)

Checkbook Balancing. Recommended: once/week. I interpret to mean: once/month, as well as as-needed when I bounce checks.

Also this can apply to intensity of things. For example:

Delicate Clothing. Recommended: handwash only. I interpret to mean: delicate cycle.

Water Intake. Recommended: 8 glasses/day. I interpret to mean: some water/day.

But really, when you think about it, if you actually did everything that you're supposed to do, your whole life would consist of tooth-brushing and hand-washing your clothes and balancing your checkbook and looking for a place to pee at the car dealership while they change your oil. And that would suck.

not cute-insane, insane-insane

Via Ruminate This, here isinformation about a bill requiring paper trails for the touch-screen voting machines that are apparently wildly vulnerable to hacker attacks and technical malfunctions.

behind the lines at jcrew u

There's going to be a new X-rated reality show. (Story here.) Harry Feingold, spokesperson for the network, says the show is designed "not just for men, but for wives and girlfriends who enjoy both reality TV and adult entertainment."


I would like to take a moment to point out how women are not just "women" (otherwise, he would have said "not just for men, but for women who enjoy both reality TV and adult entertainment") but must be defined in relation to men: as "wives" and "girlfriends." Sorry, singles (and probably committed lesbians as well), no reality porn TV for you!

it's a ***********r

In the past two days, I've been bitten by two dogs and a person.

So much of our effort is exerted just to keep ourselves entertained.