I will never be bored again: strange banana dot com generates random web layouts. (link via metafilter.

holy canoli

I've put a list of recently read books at the side. I'm looking for interesting contemporary fiction, so if you know of anything, please e-mail me.

original like a guitar solo

Um, is this actually an Onion article?

And how come Snickers bars don't taste real?

at last: the French word for 'monkey'

we stimulated the economy today. we gave the economy the full-body massage. our bank account is locked in a sadomasochistic relationship with the economy.

i got a book about sewing out of the library. i have two big piles of material.

sigh.

If you ain't got Mojo Nixon...

I'm adding a list of links to hippie clothing stores. This is mainly because in my search for the perfect article of clothing, I have probably looked at the same 3 sites 600,000 times. So when I find a new one, I put it on the list.

PS

I almost forgot... I heard somewhere that the reason why they went so all-out with the special effects in Matrix Reloaded is because they were so pissed off that everyone copied the first one's effects and they wanted to make it more difficult to do that.

Stealth Post from the Library! II

Well, I hadn't been planning on seeing The Matrix Reloaded because... I don't know... it was mainstream (okay, so I'm not proud of this reason), and I usually hate sequels, and because of the review on this blog, but reading Salon's review and truly contemplating whether or not I'd like to look at Keanu and Carrie-Ann Moss in shiny black leather for two hours, I think my mind is changing. I don't care what anybody says about Keanu's acting, he's still dead sexy. RAWR.

RAWR.

Stealth Post from the Library!

Purgey-wurgey:


Life is like a rollercoaster.

Como?

Ummmmm... my Spanish is a little rusty, but isn't that an advertisement for condoms at the top of my blog? Hm. This completely blows my advertisements-are-tied-to-content-of-blog theory to hell.


Or does it?

Pack Up the Cats and Move to the City

Well, recently my loved ones shocked and horrified me with the news that they're considering buying a SUV. Not one of the HUGE ones, of course, one that gets like 20 mpg (eek). I did not voice my opposition directly - it was a weird moment where I just couldn't - but what if I were to just start sending them links to relevant articles?

Oligopoly/Le Media Borg

Here's something that could easily drive me insane: Call numbers. It's not because the system is hard -- neither the Dewey Decimal nor the Congressional Library system is difficult. It's quite simple, being as how we all know the order of letters and numbers already. No, my problem is that most call numbers start with two letters on the first line, and part of my job is to take large stacks of returned books and order them based on the first two call numbers. This in itself is also not enough to drive me insane. What is enough to drive me insane is that I have mental associations with many, many, many, (apparently) pairs of letters. So I don't think "HQ," I think "headquarters." Hilda Dolittle. Prime Minister. Blow Job. Emergency Room. Bowel Movement. Post Script. Butt Hole. Public Relations. Kung Fu. Physical Education.


And so I think that perhaps hours of thinking these phrases over and over again might push me over the edge.

Don't Cut My Lifeline

I've got a summer job at the library. It will be good for my alphabet skills, my arm muscles, my bank account, and my nothing-else-to-do-but-read time. It will be bad for my carpel tunnel syndrome and my nothing-at-all-to-do-because-it's-summer,-god-damn-it time. Net: +2. If I could only bring myself to read something that isn't fiction...

So the quilt I've been working on for 5 years is coming along. I've just picked it up again. I have 4 pieces in progress, two are finished already, and the rest in progress need only to have the finishing touches put on. I also need a total of 20 pieces, and then I need to figure out how to sew them into a whole quilt... But I'm making some serious progress.

Summer purging continues.

Bad FreeCell Ju-ju

I don't feel stupider, but for the life of me I can't beat FreeCell anymore. I was winning six, seven games in a row, and now? Nothing. Duuhhhh....

In case you'd forgotten, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you exactly how dirty of a song DMB's "Crash Into Me" is.

Roots are rotten, as is the rest...

I'm SO moving to Canada. And no, this is actually not a link to a story about pot being legalized in small quantities, though Lord knows that doesn't hurt.

My body is having an averse reaction to food. Has been all week. I feel fine, aside from that.

*~*~*warning: adult content*~*~*

goodness gracious

Well, all, I'm afraid it's time for the obligatory discourse on new nicknames for genetalia. This time it's female genetalia. This time it's "box."

How did I learn that this is a new nickname for female genetalia? Snickers, then the explanation.

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS, AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT CATCHING ON?!?!?!?

Here are two very good reasons why this is stupid:

(1) We already use this word, a lot, and there aren't any other easily substituted words that mean the same thing as this word. "Please hand me my *cardboard container*." "Please put it in *the place where I get my mail*." "I need to get some *carrying units* because I'm moving out of my apartment." "I was looking for your e-mail in my in-*folder* and couldn't find it." This is insanity. I can easily avoid saying the word "pussy." I need not maneuver in order to avoid this word. You know why? Because the basic word in my vocabulary that is attached to feline objects is "cat," and it's used a whole lot more than "pussy" to refer to feline objects. SOME words have the decency to not even mean anything else.

(2) This is like the least sexy word in the English language. "Ooooh, baby, put your *** ****** ****** in my box"? I don't think so. To me, this means drop it in my mailbox and I'll pick it up on Monday. Ouch. "Ooooh, my box is so wet." Oh, man, that sucks! What did you have in there? Is it raining? Did someone open up a fire hydrant outside? Are you moving to a new place? At least "pussy" sounds nice - it has the nice fricative there, as well as the deep-in-the-throat vowel. I won't go into the other ones, but be assured that many of the same principles hold.

What can we do about this? Who do we start a letter campaign to? If we don't buck this tide now, where will it end? "Oh, your stapler is so big and hard!" "God, your purse feels great!"

please stop the insanity.

I'm adding a link to the right - "34 Million Friends" is a grassroots movement aimed at replacing the money the Bush administration revoked from UNFPA, a UN organization aimed at global family planning.