me want kill everybody. even you. no... ESPECIALLY you.
I started the aforementioned new job last week, and I'm liking it, thanks if you were silently wondering. There's only so much to say about it, especially to the internets (which are not known for their subtlety or discretion). But, yes: better.
My sinuses, on the other hand, are not doing so great. They've slept about three hours in the last 50, their normally-reliable childcare crapped out on them yesterday, which threw everything off, and when they stepped out of a cab this morning, they stepped straight into a puddle that actually, somehow, miraculously topped the mid-calf boot on their right foot and left them with about five inches of cold water between them and the cowhide. Not good.
So I went to the doctor today - the student doctor, because I've constructed the most delicate net of plausibility that I qualify as a full-time(ish) student and it's okay to see me there. There's a lot of nodding and saying "these are not the droids you're looking for" involved, and it actually worked.
Here's the backstory: I gave in on Friday night to the fact that I cannot just wait out a sinus infection. Can't. Didn't work the last seven times I tried it, didn't work Friday, won't work next fall. I gave in at about 5:07, which you might recognize as being 7 minutes after the doctor's office closes. This works on the same principle as guides the dog slicing her paw open at 9am the day the vet's office is closed (Thursday), and as guides Other's ear infections that hit at 6am on a Sunday. (That would be the shift at the ER with the doctor who DOESN'T BELIEVE IN INFECTIONS. Have I ever told you about that? My God, what a morning.)
So. Friday night, I take a look at my stash from when I had Ceftin (or -zil, who the hell knows) left over from the whole Biaxin unpleasantness. Or, wait, that's weird - the Biaxin was replaced with Keflex. Hmm. Well, whatever, I had five leftover antibiotic tablets, perfectly enough for the rest of the weekend, and started taking them. Felt better pretty quickly.
I went in under a hail of I-know-I'm-supposed-to-take-all-my-antibiotics-I-swear-
these-were-left-over-because-I-was-on-more-than-one-cycle-Seriously-I-was-going-to-
die-if-I-didn't-start-taking-antibiotics-Friday-here-are-all-my-disgusting-symptoms. And this was a doctor I knew and liked, because he did believe that Other got painful ear infections, and even recommended a good specialist. But I was no match for the You Really Shouldn't Do That. Which, okay, yes, I understand the ramifications of antibiotic tolerance. It's bad. I promise promise promise I won't.
But there was also the advice about how to avoid sinus infections, which yes: please: lay it on me, help help help. My other doctor (whom we are Avoiding) said to combat the allergy attacks as soon as they start with Claritin and Sudafed, which I did this time and which didn't help in the least. This doctor said drink lots of water (check - I even bought a $20 fancy-ass aluminum thing so as not to be ingesting nasty chemicals from the plastic water bottles). Wash your hands before you eat (check - I washed my hands so much in Costa Rica that I got a freaking fungal infection under my wedding band.* This is not something I had intended to share with you all, as it is gross, but it is also proof that I am serious about washing my damn hands). Don't chew gum. (Huh! This is interesting. I chew gum. Is it something with the ear canals? No, it's because when you touch your gum, germs are transferred from your hands----wait, wait, who said anything about touching your gum? At this point I actually did speak up. People take their gum out of their mouths and put it back in. Really? Gross. I don't do that. Well, when you first put it in your mouth. And at this point, vigorously shaking my head kind of like a crazy person might, I'm literally gesturing the act of unwrapping the top half of a piece of gum so that the bottom half remains swathed in wrapper -- and just try for a second to gesture that, it's harder than you think -- and declaring quite staunchly that I AM NOT A GUM-TOUCHER.)
So I get to both feel like I'm a leetle bit compulsive with all the hand-washing and gum-touching-refraining-from, and yet that I'm still somehow responsible for my tendency to have allergies turn into sinus infections. Which, yeah, okay, fine. I mean, I do devour M&M's by the handful, so maybe that's where these rogue germs are coming from.
Uhmmm, I think the point that I wanted to make at the beginning of all this is, doctors, why can't I just know when I have a sinus infection? Why can't Other just know when he has an ear infection? I'm not the most embodied person I've ever met, no, but I know the sensations that go on in my face and head when I have a sinus infection. I mean, I understand that I didn't "go to medical school" and you did, but I'm pretty familiar with my body. I'm not trying to diagnose some new and unusual thing that's happening, either - I've had five sinus infections in the last four years, I know.
I still like this doctor, and don't blame him for thinking me some kind of Gum Toucher. But man, none of these experiences are adding up to me not hating doctor visits.
*Yeah, if you've seen me in person recently and noticed I wasn't wearing my wedding band and thought about saying "Trouble in paradise, eh?" to me but didn't because that would probably be inappropriate, then no - not trouble. Just fungus.
My sinuses, on the other hand, are not doing so great. They've slept about three hours in the last 50, their normally-reliable childcare crapped out on them yesterday, which threw everything off, and when they stepped out of a cab this morning, they stepped straight into a puddle that actually, somehow, miraculously topped the mid-calf boot on their right foot and left them with about five inches of cold water between them and the cowhide. Not good.
So I went to the doctor today - the student doctor, because I've constructed the most delicate net of plausibility that I qualify as a full-time(ish) student and it's okay to see me there. There's a lot of nodding and saying "these are not the droids you're looking for" involved, and it actually worked.
Here's the backstory: I gave in on Friday night to the fact that I cannot just wait out a sinus infection. Can't. Didn't work the last seven times I tried it, didn't work Friday, won't work next fall. I gave in at about 5:07, which you might recognize as being 7 minutes after the doctor's office closes. This works on the same principle as guides the dog slicing her paw open at 9am the day the vet's office is closed (Thursday), and as guides Other's ear infections that hit at 6am on a Sunday. (That would be the shift at the ER with the doctor who DOESN'T BELIEVE IN INFECTIONS. Have I ever told you about that? My God, what a morning.)
So. Friday night, I take a look at my stash from when I had Ceftin (or -zil, who the hell knows) left over from the whole Biaxin unpleasantness. Or, wait, that's weird - the Biaxin was replaced with Keflex. Hmm. Well, whatever, I had five leftover antibiotic tablets, perfectly enough for the rest of the weekend, and started taking them. Felt better pretty quickly.
I went in under a hail of I-know-I'm-supposed-to-take-all-my-antibiotics-I-swear-
these-were-left-over-because-I-was-on-more-than-one-cycle-Seriously-I-was-going-to-
die-if-I-didn't-start-taking-antibiotics-Friday-here-are-all-my-disgusting-symptoms. And this was a doctor I knew and liked, because he did believe that Other got painful ear infections, and even recommended a good specialist. But I was no match for the You Really Shouldn't Do That. Which, okay, yes, I understand the ramifications of antibiotic tolerance. It's bad. I promise promise promise I won't.
But there was also the advice about how to avoid sinus infections, which yes: please: lay it on me, help help help. My other doctor (whom we are Avoiding) said to combat the allergy attacks as soon as they start with Claritin and Sudafed, which I did this time and which didn't help in the least. This doctor said drink lots of water (check - I even bought a $20 fancy-ass aluminum thing so as not to be ingesting nasty chemicals from the plastic water bottles). Wash your hands before you eat (check - I washed my hands so much in Costa Rica that I got a freaking fungal infection under my wedding band.* This is not something I had intended to share with you all, as it is gross, but it is also proof that I am serious about washing my damn hands). Don't chew gum. (Huh! This is interesting. I chew gum. Is it something with the ear canals? No, it's because when you touch your gum, germs are transferred from your hands----wait, wait, who said anything about touching your gum? At this point I actually did speak up. People take their gum out of their mouths and put it back in. Really? Gross. I don't do that. Well, when you first put it in your mouth. And at this point, vigorously shaking my head kind of like a crazy person might, I'm literally gesturing the act of unwrapping the top half of a piece of gum so that the bottom half remains swathed in wrapper -- and just try for a second to gesture that, it's harder than you think -- and declaring quite staunchly that I AM NOT A GUM-TOUCHER.)
So I get to both feel like I'm a leetle bit compulsive with all the hand-washing and gum-touching-refraining-from, and yet that I'm still somehow responsible for my tendency to have allergies turn into sinus infections. Which, yeah, okay, fine. I mean, I do devour M&M's by the handful, so maybe that's where these rogue germs are coming from.
Uhmmm, I think the point that I wanted to make at the beginning of all this is, doctors, why can't I just know when I have a sinus infection? Why can't Other just know when he has an ear infection? I'm not the most embodied person I've ever met, no, but I know the sensations that go on in my face and head when I have a sinus infection. I mean, I understand that I didn't "go to medical school" and you did, but I'm pretty familiar with my body. I'm not trying to diagnose some new and unusual thing that's happening, either - I've had five sinus infections in the last four years, I know.
I still like this doctor, and don't blame him for thinking me some kind of Gum Toucher. But man, none of these experiences are adding up to me not hating doctor visits.
*Yeah, if you've seen me in person recently and noticed I wasn't wearing my wedding band and thought about saying "Trouble in paradise, eh?" to me but didn't because that would probably be inappropriate, then no - not trouble. Just fungus.
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