back on the M&M pain train

This is a conversation I have at least once a Saturday:

Customer: What time do you close?
Me: Five.
Customer: Seven?
Me: Five.
Customer: Oh.

I have gotten better at enunciating. We. Close. At. Fiive.

Today a guy came in (several times, actually) who was wearing a t-shirt that said, "I taught your girlfriend everything she knows." Which is totally weird, because back when we first hooked up, she was pretty emphatic about the fact that she'd never been into guys. And I mean, hell, it's fine if she was, you know, we're our own people. I don't own her. That's just a hell of a way to find out.