suffering? stuff? soccer? .. what?

After much prodding and discussion and a friend's promise to *mail* me the first three books, I gave in to Harry Potter*. And yes, it is good, and yes, I cannot put it down even though I'll try mightily to avoid tearing through books three through whatever before book whatever else comes out on my birthday. Because I do not do well with the suspense. Which is also why I am not allowed to pick up book three - I cannot go to bed if I think, say, I will find out why Harry and Ron couldn't get through platform nine and three-fourths to take the train to Hogwarts and then all of a sudden I'm trying to function on six hours' sleep.

I do like the books, think they have literary merit as well as mythological merit, and enjoy reading them very much, but I have to wonder why a woman writing a book for her daughter (maybe I'm reading in here?) would make the Chosen One and the Old Master both men. Maybe little boys wouldn't be attracted to a Harriet Potter, while girls can and have always been able to identify with and look up to a male hero (out of necessity), but really, I just don't think that's a good enough reason. Why is the only female compatriot of Harry's a typical obsessive, scolding, rules-for-rules-sake type of character?

And I say this generally feeling that people criticize each other waaaaay to much in the world, especially people who haven't done jack criticizing the people who are brave/motivated/talented/driven enough to actually do stuff, and I try to avoid that and overall don't think it's fair. But this does not stop me from feeling like hurling the book across the room and yelling HEY I COULD DEFEAT THE DARK LORD AND HAVE A LIGHTENING-SHAPED SCAR ON MY FOREHEAD AND BE THE AWESOMEST QUIDDITCH PLAYER IN A HUNDRED YEARS TOO, GODDAMMIT.

And that also leaves me feeling like kind of a jerk.

In a situation that leaves me feeling less like a jerk and more like -- no, that also apparently makes me feel like a jerk: my dear cousin for whom I made the baby blankets last month is going to be on bed rest ideally (for the babies) for the next six weeks. YIKES.

(I know less than nothing about matters such as pregnancy bedrest, but isn't it a little insane to ask a person to undertake virtually no physical activity leading up to the most spectacularly physical thing they are ever likely to do in their entire life? And yes, yes, I understand that the lack of physical activity is meant to delay labor, but good God, seems like we're stacking that deck pretty unfairly.)

Oh, and I mean the in-the-hospital kind of bed rest.

Enter me, in all my jerkitude, wanting to do something to alleviate the awfulness of staring at the next six weeks in a hospital bed. I went and got all kinds of little crafty kits of things you can do as you recline in the same place for weeks on end - punchneedle, knitting needles/yarn/instructions, a little origami set, etc. But then I realized that I have no idea what she likes to do. Or read. Or think about.

So, what approach do I take in sending her all this stuff? Also, can pregnant women eat candy? How much, precisely?

I'm probably going to wrap each set of things and then stipulate some sort of schedule on which she's "allowed" to open things. Having worked enough tedious jobs in my life, I understand the concept of the Mini-Goal intimately. I also intend, out of self-protection and self-consciousness to take a tone of "hey, here's some crap I bought you, yeah, I think it's lame too, but hey it sucks you're on bed rest and also if you like any of this stuff I'll definitely get you more. so. yeah."

And hey, if any of you readers have been on bed rest (pregnancy-related or otherwise), let me know: what, other than punch needle, knitting, and origami would a person like to have to do?


*Everyone please mail me books tied up in string and wrapped in a brown paper bag. That's just awesome.