We have conflicting theories about glaciers.
Mimi Smartypants is not the only one who talks for an animal who lives in her house. When we first got the Lou Dog, he automatically talked like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, because he looks kind of like him and also that might be kind of why we went and checked him out. (Someone in this household is a BIG Triumph fan.) In a cosmos-bending coincidence, Lou shares an abusive and dismissive demeanor, as well as a hearty interest in pooping, with his facesake.
Lou used to get up at 6:45 every morning. It took us a very long time to break that particular habit, so for the first year or so that we had him, we would wake up at 6:45 with Lou planted squarely on one of our chests, staring intently into our eyes. It was then that the Sarge aspects of his personality came out: "Get up, maggots! God damn it I said get those lazy asses outta bed! Hup!" He called us maggots a lot. It helps that he's constantly yelling.
So, when Other slips and falls in the woods - which happens a lot in the winter, as you might imagine, what with the layers of snow and ice over the layers of decomposing leaves - Lou says something like: "God damn it, maggot, get up! If you was on the battlefield right now YOU'D BE DEAD! YOU MAKE ME SICK!" That is, if he's even around to see it. Sometimes he's off pursuing moles and squirrels and anything else he can find and doesn't even notice.
The first time Other fell when Jane had come along to the woods, though, Jane stopped and came running back to him, looking genuinely concerned. She said, "Oh my goodness! [Other], are you okay? Shall I run for help? Would you like to attach an explanatory note to my collar?" And she's done this every time since then, too, waiting for him to get up and start moving again. Meanwhile Lou's threatening to take the keys and drive his damn self home because god damn it you were supposed to feed Lou 20 minutes ago.
Lou used to get up at 6:45 every morning. It took us a very long time to break that particular habit, so for the first year or so that we had him, we would wake up at 6:45 with Lou planted squarely on one of our chests, staring intently into our eyes. It was then that the Sarge aspects of his personality came out: "Get up, maggots! God damn it I said get those lazy asses outta bed! Hup!" He called us maggots a lot. It helps that he's constantly yelling.
So, when Other slips and falls in the woods - which happens a lot in the winter, as you might imagine, what with the layers of snow and ice over the layers of decomposing leaves - Lou says something like: "God damn it, maggot, get up! If you was on the battlefield right now YOU'D BE DEAD! YOU MAKE ME SICK!" That is, if he's even around to see it. Sometimes he's off pursuing moles and squirrels and anything else he can find and doesn't even notice.
The first time Other fell when Jane had come along to the woods, though, Jane stopped and came running back to him, looking genuinely concerned. She said, "Oh my goodness! [Other], are you okay? Shall I run for help? Would you like to attach an explanatory note to my collar?" And she's done this every time since then, too, waiting for him to get up and start moving again. Meanwhile Lou's threatening to take the keys and drive his damn self home because god damn it you were supposed to feed Lou 20 minutes ago.
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