Wow, that's the nicest "Pay us now or we'll shut down your account" letter I've ever gotten.
Friends,
There is a country song that I need to warn you about. It is probably called "I Got A Brand New Girlfriend," judging by the number of times this phrase appears in the song, but I do not want to google it, for fear of finding out for sure. This song is alarming on at least two levels, the more straightforward level being the one on which the guy sings "somethin somethin blah wearin' nothin' but a smile, goin' kissy kissy smoochy smoochy somethin somethin else blah etc." Grown man + kissy smoochy = undeniably troublesome. We are still together? Good.
The more insidious and disturbing level that this is on involves, of course, the phrase "brand new girlfriend." As if this woman has sprung from the womb -- or perhaps her father's head -- clad in tight jeans and a tube top, virginal and without the taint* of a specific past; but, judging from the kissy kissy smoochy smoochy and all that this implies (fucky fucky?), imbued with carnal instincts, knowledge, and talents. The guy sounds pretty happy about his new find.
Because what is she, a truck? No pre-owned girlfriends for this guy.
*hehehe, taint. This is an inside joke, just so you don't think I'm a 13-year-old, but it's also a dirty one, so I guess you would have been right in the first place. Carry on.
PS - Why do I trick myself into thinking I can watch Dooce's videos? I'm on dialup, for God's sake.
There is a country song that I need to warn you about. It is probably called "I Got A Brand New Girlfriend," judging by the number of times this phrase appears in the song, but I do not want to google it, for fear of finding out for sure. This song is alarming on at least two levels, the more straightforward level being the one on which the guy sings "somethin somethin blah wearin' nothin' but a smile, goin' kissy kissy smoochy smoochy somethin somethin else blah etc." Grown man + kissy smoochy = undeniably troublesome. We are still together? Good.
The more insidious and disturbing level that this is on involves, of course, the phrase "brand new girlfriend." As if this woman has sprung from the womb -- or perhaps her father's head -- clad in tight jeans and a tube top, virginal and without the taint* of a specific past; but, judging from the kissy kissy smoochy smoochy and all that this implies (fucky fucky?), imbued with carnal instincts, knowledge, and talents. The guy sounds pretty happy about his new find.
Because what is she, a truck? No pre-owned girlfriends for this guy.
*hehehe, taint. This is an inside joke, just so you don't think I'm a 13-year-old, but it's also a dirty one, so I guess you would have been right in the first place. Carry on.
PS - Why do I trick myself into thinking I can watch Dooce's videos? I'm on dialup, for God's sake.
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