Dueling googles!

If something drastic changes (blow to the head, fever that wipes out my memory and old self) and I decide to start a credit card company, I'm going to make the asterisks they put next to the words "free" and "credit" and "zero percent" lead to footnotes that say nice things like, "you look hot today, baby" (only one 't,' can't push this too far) and "wow, is that you that smells so good?" My company will prey upon the dim-witted and under-complimented. It didn't start out this way, I just was wishing that one time I would look down at the asterisk and it wouldn't say "actually not free" but of course if any serious-business correspondence got fresh with me in the footnotes, I would roll my eyes and feel incensed that it probably took two years of business school for some jerk to come up with the idea of quirky footnotes, and then spend the next ten minutes thinking about how advertising becoming self-aware is probably the worst thing to happen on a cultural level in a long time... So...

Ummm...