Malaria!

Other and I went out for breakfast this morning. Our choices are B'Evans, this place where the smoking section is not so very separate from the non-smoking section, and where our pregnant waitress would sit in the very close smoking section and smoke while we ate - oogy on so many levels - and the place we went today. Which has officially become the place where that creepy waitress tries to get us to leave. (Last week it was officially the place where the guy in line behind us decided he could cross our names off the waiting list himself and take our table.)

We'd noticed the creepy waitress before, but hadn't solidified our feelings in a conversation yet. Today, though, she continued with the creepy behavior of looking at us funny. Which kind of sounds like something you'd hear from the backseat of a car on a family vacation ("HE'S BREATHING ON ME!!!") but is actually quite socially uncomfortable. She holds eye contact for too long, with her head at a weird angle. You kind of get the feeling that she's trying to telepathically tell you that the management of the restaurant is holding her hostage and she would like you to rescue her.

In addition to looking at us funny, today she took away the syrup before Other was done eating his pancake, then came back and tried to take away the half-eaten and under-syruped pancake (eliciting a noise from Other that I've never heard before - kind of like a wounded animal - he feels strongly about his pancakes) as his fork was moving toward it.

Perhaps her tormentors will beat her if anyone stays for more than 20 minutes.

Then, in what was the final straw for me, she had an incredibly difficult time comprehending that I, the woman, would pay for the whole meal. She put the check down, and I picked it up. She said, "Oh! Do you want me to split it for you?" As I was trying to figure out what she was talking about, Other said, "Uh, no, that's okay. We're married."

So that should've been pretty clear, right? We're married, we basically share money, we take turns treating each other to meals.

But when she brought the check back, she put it in front of him to sign. I know our society's been backsliding a bit in terms of women's rights the last few years, but I'm pretty sure I would've heard about it on NPR if women had lost the right to have bank accounts, right?