An Open Letter to the Lady Standing Half an Inch Behind Me in the Checkout Line
Dear Lady Standing Half an Inch Behind Me in the Checkout Line,
May I offer a helpful suggestion? Perhaps you should take a few seconds to weigh the benefits of standing half an inch away from me and gaining maybe a third of a second of conveyor-loading time against the growing possibility of being "accidentally" stabbed in the eyeball with a knitting needle, which I happen to have in my purse here.
I really don't want to stab you in the eye with a knitting needle, especially not in front of the cute little girl who I assume is your daughter. I really, really don't want to stab you. But I also really, really don't want to feel you occasionally knocking up against my elbow and hovering in and out of my peripheral vision. We all want to get home as soon as possible. I was hoping to get home in a decent mood, even, but I figured that the trip to the grocery store would nix that option. I wasn't banking on a testy conversation with the police and several hours of trying to scrounge up bail money.
Just back up six inches is all I'm sayin.
Peace,
M
May I offer a helpful suggestion? Perhaps you should take a few seconds to weigh the benefits of standing half an inch away from me and gaining maybe a third of a second of conveyor-loading time against the growing possibility of being "accidentally" stabbed in the eyeball with a knitting needle, which I happen to have in my purse here.
I really don't want to stab you in the eye with a knitting needle, especially not in front of the cute little girl who I assume is your daughter. I really, really don't want to stab you. But I also really, really don't want to feel you occasionally knocking up against my elbow and hovering in and out of my peripheral vision. We all want to get home as soon as possible. I was hoping to get home in a decent mood, even, but I figured that the trip to the grocery store would nix that option. I wasn't banking on a testy conversation with the police and several hours of trying to scrounge up bail money.
Just back up six inches is all I'm sayin.
Peace,
M
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