D'oh.

It would not be honest of me to say that at the point I came upon this beacon of dietary procrastination at the store today, I did not have a bag of regular M&M's in my basket already. I did. Bird flu can be very tricky and convincing. "Just one human-to-human transmission, I promise," the bag said in my ear. "These M&Ms are regular colors -- you won't be tempted to crunch them by the largish handful."

I am patting myself on the back for having bought only one bag, and for having the balls to check out, go out to my car and drop off the groceries, and then saunter back in and take a picture of a display of outdated candy in front of the deli guys.

In non M&M-related news, today I got my checking accounts shut down because of my own idiocy. For a while there I was worried that they finally realized that a person like me should really not be walking around with access to a checking account, or maybe that I'd bounced $300 worth of checks (even though I couldn't remember writing them, and had actually been rather obsessive of late about making sure the money was where it should be -- I figured I had that disorder where people walk to the fridge and pig out in their sleep, only I was writing out checks and mailing them). Turns out I had merely attempted to log in to my account with the wrong password too many times.

The bank lady was very nice, although in her opinion $70 is not a lot of money to be left over in a checking account, whereas I was impressed with myself for being in double digits until I remembered that I have yet to pay the phone bill. And that I'm not quite sure where that is.

I was sad that the "Puppies! Puppies! Puppies!" checks were out of my price range. But then I thought: Do I want to be a person with puppies on her checks? And then I thought: Hell yes. So now I have something to aspire to.