My phone number hasn't changed, but I have
Today I got an e-mail - at the account so old that it has been my spam account for more than several years - from a friend from high school. It was a meme with questions about high school - who were your friends (the answer to which relegates me to "& co." -- funny how everything is still the same), did you go to prom, were you a party animal.
It has been over a year since I communicated with the leader, the one whose name came in front of the & co ( and always has). She signed my marriage certificate, and I may never speak to her again. We went to a Modest Mouse concert together in July 2004. I paid for her ticket. I took my Master's exam two weeks later, and she did not call me to see how it went, even though she knew I was nervous about it. I thought to myself, fine - I'm not calling her. I'll wait until she calls. And here we are.^
We always joked in high school that we were the group of leftovers, the people who didn't claim a clique immediately. Two of us went through all 12 grades together, though we didn't become friends until about junior year. One moved there in 6th grade, one freshman year, one sophomore year. Basically, we became friends because we needed lab partners.
I don't know why it surprises me that this isn't a good basis for a lasting friendship. When I got the e-mail, though, it rocked me back. For half an hour my mind was completely elsewhere. Why did she refer to us as "the crew," the popular* crowd's name for themselves? What is everybody doing with themselves? Did anybody ever do anything with themselves? The last time I talked to them, it didn't seem to be headed in that direction.
We had a really good time together. I still haven't figured out if that was because we liked each other or if we just liked having a good time. Since then, I've made a couple really good friends who are positive sorts of friends - we have similar interests and values - rather than default ones. I'm glad to have them, but it kind of sucks to have lost contact with most of the people who remember who I was seven years ago.
^Actually, though, one time the phone rang once and her number came up on the caller i.d. She clearly had called me by mistake. So I said to Other, "well, at least I know I'm still in her phone." And he said, "yeah, but probably not anymore." Right.
*I don't know if it was this way in other schools, but I was always mystified by the fact that everyone really seemed to dislike the popular crowd, but would certainly have agreed that they were popular.
It has been over a year since I communicated with the leader, the one whose name came in front of the & co ( and always has). She signed my marriage certificate, and I may never speak to her again. We went to a Modest Mouse concert together in July 2004. I paid for her ticket. I took my Master's exam two weeks later, and she did not call me to see how it went, even though she knew I was nervous about it. I thought to myself, fine - I'm not calling her. I'll wait until she calls. And here we are.^
We always joked in high school that we were the group of leftovers, the people who didn't claim a clique immediately. Two of us went through all 12 grades together, though we didn't become friends until about junior year. One moved there in 6th grade, one freshman year, one sophomore year. Basically, we became friends because we needed lab partners.
I don't know why it surprises me that this isn't a good basis for a lasting friendship. When I got the e-mail, though, it rocked me back. For half an hour my mind was completely elsewhere. Why did she refer to us as "the crew," the popular* crowd's name for themselves? What is everybody doing with themselves? Did anybody ever do anything with themselves? The last time I talked to them, it didn't seem to be headed in that direction.
We had a really good time together. I still haven't figured out if that was because we liked each other or if we just liked having a good time. Since then, I've made a couple really good friends who are positive sorts of friends - we have similar interests and values - rather than default ones. I'm glad to have them, but it kind of sucks to have lost contact with most of the people who remember who I was seven years ago.
^Actually, though, one time the phone rang once and her number came up on the caller i.d. She clearly had called me by mistake. So I said to Other, "well, at least I know I'm still in her phone." And he said, "yeah, but probably not anymore." Right.
*I don't know if it was this way in other schools, but I was always mystified by the fact that everyone really seemed to dislike the popular crowd, but would certainly have agreed that they were popular.
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