Gee Dubburd goes small-scale
A commercial that I saw today, where a maxi pad becomes a bed, reminded me of a commercial that I've hated for as long as it has been around for its supreme, astonishing, disturbing lack of logic: the Quilted Northern commerical wherein they show a cartoon of a comparison of their toilet paper with that of the competitor. Something about it being quilted. A cartoon. A cartoon of a factual, physical comparison. And the little cartoon characters comparing the toilet papers are like, "Oh! Quilted Northern is so much better!" But they're not real! They're cartoon characters! They're physically incapable of using and thus comparing toilet paper!
And the Quilted Northern website actually requires flash. Flash on a toilet paper website. Probably so we can see cartoon bears dance around waving cartoon toilet paper under their asses. AT LEAST THE QUILTERS WERE HUMANS. AT LEAST, CONCEIVABLY, IN THEIR CARTOON WORLD, THEY WIPED.
I'm starting to hyperventilate over toilet paper commercials, so we need to move on. In sum: Boycott Quilted Northern.
Where did all the flowers go?
Other has recently developed a habit of inventing food; unfortunately, he invents things that already exist. Raisins+Bran Cereal = Raisin Bran. Raisins+Almonds = Trail Mix. Slice of Bread+Tomato Sauce+Slice of Provolone = Pizza. Last week he invented bruschetta and it was really good.
Lil' Bratz in Lil' Time Out
In Borders today, I saw a magazine that boasted a feature on the 475 sexiest hairstyles going. The 475 sexiest. Four hundred and seventy five. Hairstyles. I started trying to figure out all the dimensions one can measure a hairstyle: length of bangs, length of sides, length of back; relationship of these lengths to each other; if color is fair game, well, that gets us up to maybe a couple hundred. But some poor hair-magazine employees had to come up with 475 combinations of the above factors that are all sexy. So that basically eliminates the mullet, and just about any hairstyle that has a name that isn't also the name of an actress.
And who would want to read about 475 sexy hairstyles anyway? Hair fetishists? Is there such a thing?
A commercial that I saw today, where a maxi pad becomes a bed, reminded me of a commercial that I've hated for as long as it has been around for its supreme, astonishing, disturbing lack of logic: the Quilted Northern commerical wherein they show a cartoon of a comparison of their toilet paper with that of the competitor. Something about it being quilted. A cartoon. A cartoon of a factual, physical comparison. And the little cartoon characters comparing the toilet papers are like, "Oh! Quilted Northern is so much better!" But they're not real! They're cartoon characters! They're physically incapable of using and thus comparing toilet paper!
And the Quilted Northern website actually requires flash. Flash on a toilet paper website. Probably so we can see cartoon bears dance around waving cartoon toilet paper under their asses. AT LEAST THE QUILTERS WERE HUMANS. AT LEAST, CONCEIVABLY, IN THEIR CARTOON WORLD, THEY WIPED.
I'm starting to hyperventilate over toilet paper commercials, so we need to move on. In sum: Boycott Quilted Northern.
Where did all the flowers go?
Other has recently developed a habit of inventing food; unfortunately, he invents things that already exist. Raisins+Bran Cereal = Raisin Bran. Raisins+Almonds = Trail Mix. Slice of Bread+Tomato Sauce+Slice of Provolone = Pizza. Last week he invented bruschetta and it was really good.
Lil' Bratz in Lil' Time Out
In Borders today, I saw a magazine that boasted a feature on the 475 sexiest hairstyles going. The 475 sexiest. Four hundred and seventy five. Hairstyles. I started trying to figure out all the dimensions one can measure a hairstyle: length of bangs, length of sides, length of back; relationship of these lengths to each other; if color is fair game, well, that gets us up to maybe a couple hundred. But some poor hair-magazine employees had to come up with 475 combinations of the above factors that are all sexy. So that basically eliminates the mullet, and just about any hairstyle that has a name that isn't also the name of an actress.
And who would want to read about 475 sexy hairstyles anyway? Hair fetishists? Is there such a thing?
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