Wednesday, June 22, 2005

OMG!!! Its been, like, oevr a month!!

Hello, anyone who's still checking on this blog or perhaps is stumbling onto it by virtue of the one link to me in the known universe.

The computer was professionally cleaned, actually a couple weeks ago, and it's just gotten to the point where I can venture back online for longer periods of time. I'm a little skittish of spyware and all the other malevolent concoctions of angsty teenage boys out there on the internets, catching me in the crossfire of their against-the-Man raging.

I've been wondering -- does anyone get clothes monogrammed anymore? Because maybe if they don't, I'll start a hip new faux-prepster trend that will quickly assimilate into the collar-popped tousled-hair nightmare that is fashion in this mini-ivy of the pretty-damned-close-to-appalachia... whatever. You know.

I'm going to start a knitting circle a la the recent stitch n bitch trend, but I'm going to be all urban and urbane and call it a steotch and beotch.


Unemployable!!!

In the mall, I saw a shirt on a (big, hairy) dude that said:

"Vegetarian: Old Indian word for 'Bad Hunter'"

Although they probably didn't use the single quotes.

And, I thought, wow, I wonder if the dude purchased the shirt thinking that he would never be anywhere where a vegetarian could see him and potentially become offended. (I was indeed far from my little haven of liberalism - by which I mean my house.) Or maybe, he secretly hoped that a vegetarian would see the shirt and become wounded and shamed into embracing meat-eating once again. Or maybe, he figured that any vegetarian would be so scrawny and wimpy that he could crush the puny herbivore with one big meaty furry fist.

I've seen the shirt in magazines (does your mom get them too?) but I'd never seen it on a person before. And, when you think about it, you realize that there's probably a whole untapped market of "Old Indian Word For" shirts. Voici:

Lesbian: Old Indian word for "Can't Find a Man"

Feminist: Old Indian word for "Can't Find a Man"

Homeless: Old Indian word for "Lazy"

Wife: Old Indian word for "Bitch"

Liberal: Old Indian word for "He Who Smokes the Wacky Weed"