uppin the coupon ante

One of the things I like about my Other is that if I say something like, "Guess how many commercials I saw for Raising Helen in a 1-hour 45-minute period today!" he doesn't say "How many?". Nope. He'll say something like "5!" or "17!" He always takes a crack at it.


This fact relates obliquely to the following Kroger story.


Now, we feel that we should not give in to the Discount Card Hegemony, because we would rather pay full price for items than give the grocery store and whomever their cronies are access to information about our buying patterns. We would rather pay a privacy tax than save $.30 on beenie-weenies. There are several cashiers who really cannot stand us because we refuse to save ourselves about a dollar a visit, and despite the fact that we've lived here now for two years and are frequent visitors to the grocery store, they ask and then give a lecture about The Discount Card Will Save You Money. Money! Don't You Like Having Money?! every. single. time. we go through their line.


Alas, though, that was a digression. Sorry.


What I really mean to be talking about is the special one-off coupons that automatically get printed and handed to you with your receipt. Those drive us (well, me, really) nuts because they would always be for a different brand of one of the same products we just bought. Has anyone else noticed this? How contentious does the grocery store have to be? Why not give me a damn coupon for something I actually want to buy? (Well, yeah, because I'm already buying it and thus don't need the incentive of a coupon.) I actually bought a different brand of an item using one of those coupons, and it printed up a coupon for the brand of the item that I'd originally bought. Luckily, since the second brand sucked ass, I happily went back to the first one.


Then one day the coupon took a different approach. "Save $.75," my coupon said to me, "on 2 pints *any euphoric flavor* Ben & Jerry's." And I was actually buying Ben & Jerry's. Hot dog!


So, la la la, I went in the next time and bought my "2 pints" of old Ben & Jerry's, when another coupon printed off for me.


Me [looking at the coupon]: Wow.

Other: What?

M: Things just got a little more interesting.

O: Is it for ice cream?

M: Yes, but guess what it's for. [Remember?]

O: Buy... three pints...

M: Yeah, and...

O: Save a dollar!


And he was right. As I can't really eat three pints in a timely fashion (okay, I probably could, but should probably not get in the habit), I have not yet tested how far these coupons diabolical scheme goes. Someday, though, I just might.


Tomorrow tune in for exciting stories about reading in the Borders cafe.