two nuts and an asshole

Here is a list of things that I cannot write on these papers, but really wish I could, and even might if I didn't have this other outlet for them:


1. "I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure middle-aged people still have sex..."

2. anything starting with "Why do I bother"

3. "duh," or alternatively, "no shit"

4. "I can totally tell you were

a) not trying

b) stoned

c) drunk, stoned, and not trying

when you wrote this."

5. "This is a good paper... ... ... for me to poop on!!!" (Saving this one for when I have tenure)

I'll keep a tally. It's going to be a long night.