lord help me

What am I doing? I am not thinking about the rice that I'm going to eat in a couple minutes here, after the excess water will most assuredly have steamed off. Oh, nor am I thinking about the apple slices that also await.

I was several years ago introduced to this concept of people who know things telling you to do things more regularly than you really need to, in hopes that you'll do it less than you believe you need to (which everyone does, after the first couple days) but still enough, really. And so now I apply it everywhere and to everything, with, I realize, potentially disastrous consequences. Here is a list:

Toothbrushing. Recommended: after every meal, or at least 2 times/day. I interpret to mean: once/day.

Changing the filter in the heater. Recommended: once/month. I interpret to mean: once/every three years. (This is one of the ones that could get me into trouble. Luckily I do not live alone.)

Doctor's exams. Recommended: once/year. I interpret to mean: never. (Also troublesome.)

Credit card payments. Recommended: once/month. I interpret to mean: once/month. (These people don't fuck around.)

Oil Changes. Recommended: every 3,000 miles. I interpret to mean: every 6,000 miles. (Added bonus here of owning a Toyota, rumored to only *really* need them every 10,000 miles, so when I go at 6,000 I can feel virtuous.)

Checkbook Balancing. Recommended: once/week. I interpret to mean: once/month, as well as as-needed when I bounce checks.

Also this can apply to intensity of things. For example:

Delicate Clothing. Recommended: handwash only. I interpret to mean: delicate cycle.

Water Intake. Recommended: 8 glasses/day. I interpret to mean: some water/day.

But really, when you think about it, if you actually did everything that you're supposed to do, your whole life would consist of tooth-brushing and hand-washing your clothes and balancing your checkbook and looking for a place to pee at the car dealership while they change your oil. And that would suck.