fat Charlie the archangel files for divorce

Here are some rules for living. When I become rich and famous, or at least famous, or perhaps infamous and rich (definitely rich), I will publish them and make an extra couple of millions that I will use to have gourmet vegetarian meals prepared for my 5 purebred cats. Tell me I don't think ahead.

1) When deciding whether or not to take a job, consider the following question: Will my coworkers be more likely to expect an idiot/dunce/moron to fill this position, or would they be more likely to expect a smart person? If you are an idiot/dunce/moron, and you think they would expect an idiot/dunce/moron, take the job. If you think they would expect an idiot/dunce/moron and you are smart, take the job and use your frustration to fuel the writing of several satirical plays about sucky jobs in the 21st century and make millions. If you think they would expect a smart person and you are an idiot/dunce/moron or a smart person, take the job. If you are an idiot/dunce/moron, be thankful that you got a smart person's job and cling to it for dear life. If you are a smart person, use the frustration to write several satirical plays about dealing with idiots/dunces/morons with jobs they don't deserve in the 21st century and make several thousands.

2) Wash your clothes, for the love of God.

3) Date all photographs and negative envelopes, because even though you think you'll remember, trust me, you won't.

4) Name your first child Buckwheat Zydeco (check the spelling).