After years of striving,

I have learned how to wiggle my ears. And oddly enough, it was exactly like learning how to gleek or talk like Donald Duck. It just sort of happened accidentally a couple times, and I started to notice how how it worked and was able to reproduce the muscle contraction and voila! Wiggling ears!

The best part about this, of course, is that I wear glasses and when I wiggle my ears, they kind of move up and down.

Okay, okay, I know that talk about puppies and ear-wiggling and bobo skee wottin tottin isn't the political invective that I've been pouring out recently. So, for your political invective fix, I'd like to just say that it's frustrating that Saddam is missing the nuances of the worldwide peace movement and assuming that millions of people protesting war are doing so because they support him and his heinously cruel regime. Saddam, if you're reading this, please note that we protest war because we believe that you can be forced to cooperate with UN inspections. Do you really think that anyone anywhere actually wants you to have weapons of mass destruction?

Also frustrating is the tendency of the American government to respond to mass American protests with "isn't it great how in America you're allowed to protest? In Iraq, you wouldn't be allowed to protest. We're all about freedom and peace. That's why we have to go to war." I think it's about goddamn time for them to stop shielding themselves behind the Bill of Rights because the Bill of Rights isn't called the "Bill of Priveleges George W. Bush has decided to let the American People Have." It's the Bill of RIGHTS. Those rights don't mean a goddamn thing if all of our great free speech falls upon deaf, ignorant ears.

Speaking of ears, I can wiggle mine.